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9825
“Spanking Children”
by Art Sadlier   
March 28th, 2010

There are 24 countries that have banned spanking, man in his own wisdom thinks he knows better than God.  As a result spanking children has fallen out of favour with many parents. The following news article has some interesting information.

GRAND RAPIDS -- While timeouts and other disciplinary methods work for some parents and is encouraged by some child psychologists, a Calvin College psychology professor says her research shows corporal punishment forms more well-adjusted people later in life.

Marjorie Gunnoe says the study finds children who remember being spanked on the backside with an open hand do better in school, perform more volunteer work and are more optimistic than others who were not physically disciplined.

The research, now attracting international attention, shows the punishment is most effective on children between the ages of 2 and 6, Gunnoe found. The study did not consider the frequency or severity of the discipline.(unquote)

The Word of God has much to say about raising children. God’s Word tells us to spank our children, and it gives instruction as to how and when it is to be done. When we fail to weigh all that scripture says we have a distorted understanding of God’s instruction and purpose. In our interpretation of scripture we need to compare scripture with scripture, rather than giving scripture our own interpretation.  The Bible is its’ own interpreter, we would save ourselves much grief if we observed this rule. (see 2 Peter 1:20)

Scripture says, “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes (promptly).”  Proverbs 13:24.  I want you to see eight things God’s Word teaches about spanking your children.

First – God’s Word tells us, we are to spank our children.

SecondWe are to spank our children with love in our hearts for them. The old saying is true for those who spank according to God’s instruction. “This is going to hurt me more than you.”  Your kids will know whether that is true of you or not, they can feel it, and you won’t fool them . Dad, if your kids really know that you love them, they will die for you!  "Bring them up in the nuture and admonishion of the Lord."

Third Don’t spank them in anger, it will make them rebellious. This has been the experience of many, many fathers, and they wonder why God’s Word wasn’t effective in their experience, when their children rebel against them.  Ephesians 6:4 says, “...Fathers provoke not your children to wrath.”  If you are angry with your children, especially when you spank them, it will make them angry and rebellious, they will hate you and all you stand for and the God you  love. Your anger conveys to them that you hate them, they will feel you are punishing them, not for what they have done, but because you hate them. The result will be disasterous!

FourthSpank them in fairness, you had better learn to be fair with your kids! Wait until your anger is gone, don’t even speak to them until your anger is gone. The scripture teaches that anger makes a man foolish. You will never make fair decisions when you are angry! Your fairness will draw their hearts toward you, and they will understand the reason for the spanking and benefit from it. Your fairness conveys your love for them, and enables them to rest in that love. "Provoke not" (with unfairness)

FiththDiscipline needs to be carried out without delay, with the one exception, that you allow your anger to be brought under control. If you discipline at the time of the disobedience, when they have a sense of guilt, the punishment will be related to the offense, not to you. The spanking will be a benefit to the child.  "Spare not."

Sixth Don’t wink at the offence, winking at the offence will cause the child to feel that you are unfair the next time he offends and is disciplined. Consistency is the essence of fairness. Scripture says, "Provoke not."

SeventhDon’t let him manipulate you! That will also breed the feeling of unfairness the next time around. This is vital, failure in this area creates confusion and leads to a deep sense of unfairness.  Proverbs 19:18 says, “Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

Eight - Start spanking at an early age, mould the child when he or she is young and plyable and you will spare him spanking when he begins to grow older. If you wait untill he or she is a teenager, it will be too late! Once a tree grows it cannot be reshaped. The scriptures say, "Train up a child."

When to Spank - Not all wrong behavior requires spanking. Many times it is an opportunity to train the child, to teach him what right behavior is. There are many ways to do this apart from spanking, it unfair to spank a child for something he or she does not understand, "Train up a child." The time to spank is when the child is defiant or deliberately disobedient.

When a father violates these Biblical principles the problem is compounded with further spanking, the rebellion grows and instead of the spanking having it's God intended benefit, it becomes a curse. Instead the hearts of the father and child coming together, they are more deeply estranged. Dad, understand, the issue is not that you love your kids, the issue is do your kids know it by your attitudes and actions, they are not mind readers. Love not properly conveyed is perhaps not love at all. Your child's greatest need is to know that you love him or her and to be able to rest in your love. In this context spanking will become God's instrument of blessing in your home.

Dad, God has a program to enable you to raise your children for His glory, for their benefit and your blessing. If you just say, I am the boss around here and my kids are going to do what I say or i’ll whale the daylights out of them. You are violating the teaching of scriptures, and you will bring grief to yourself and your kids and also dishonour the Lord. Your children actually belong to the Lord and He has just loaned them to you to raise them for Him. Dad, get it right!  There is no second chance at parenting!

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